The Gay and Lesbian Probation Officer’s Group (‘Gaypo’ as we called ourselves) was established at the 1983 annual conference of the National Association of Probation Officers (NAPO).

It was triggered in part by the NAPO Executive’s proposal to have members vote on renewing its membership of the Campaign for Homosexual Equality (CHE). This was both unnecessary and unconstitutional: membership – which had been agreed at a previous conference – should be renewed automatically  unless a specific motion to end it was passed at conference.

Unfortunately for the Executive, there were a few gobby lesbians and gay men at the conference – myself included. I can’t remember if the proposal was withdrawn or shouted down; either way, our membership of CHE remained intact – and ‘Gaypo’ was born too.

Technically I wasn’t a ‘real’ Probation Officer; I was a student, with another year to go before I qualified and went to work for the Probation Service. Or at least that was the plan.

As an ‘out’ student I was often called in to advise practicing Probation Officers on gay issues and, on one occasion, see a gay client myself on behalf of a gay Probation Officer who didn’t want to come out!

Then a colleague asked me to speak to a group of young male offenders about being gay. I don’t know who was more nervous on the day – me or the group members.

One of them had made a point of wearing his ‘Playboy’ sweatshirt. Another had ‘remembered’ to bring in the pile of girlie porn mags he’d promised to lend to another member of the group. The nominated recipient of these magazines didn’t seem to remember anything about the promise but was happy to partake. The transaction seems to consist largely of conspicuous examination and exaggerated appreciation of the magazine contents.

Thankfully, we all got over our initial jitters and the whole exercise became much more enjoyable. It was helped by early recognition that they didn’t hold the gross stereotypes of gay men as either child molesters or women trapped in men’s bodies.

They did, however, suffer from that common heterosexual delusion that all gays know each other – irrespective of which part of the world they live in. And so I was asked questions like, “Is Cliff Richard gay?” (a question that I still struggle to answer succinctly, even today!).

But it was an education for us all and there were definitely positive outcomes.

One of these related to a group member who was living in probation hostel. On his return that evening he had regaled his fellow residents with information about the day. As it turned out, one of the new residents had been anxiously harbouring the secret that he was gay. He was so re-assured by the dinner table discussion that he came out shortly thereafter. Things like that make it all worthwhile.

And so I continued on with my training until the end of the course and the big day when Nottinghamshire Probation Service advertised for new Probation Officers. And I, along with my fellow Nottingham students, applied. And I was the only one not to be offered an interview.

Even my course tutor, who had been less than supportive when I was subject to a homophobic episode during my placement in a prison, was shocked. I was absolutely devastated.

Support came from a range of individuals and groups. Obviously Gaypo had something to say about it, as did the union itself. There were submissions from the Nottingham Probation Team where I’d done my placement, from the Gay Welfare Workers Group and individual Probation Officers and Senior Probation Officers.

But the decision not to interview me was sustained. I was told that they wanted more female Probation Officers. When one of my female colleagues was unsuccessful they told her they wanted more black Probation Officers.

I have to say I have no evidence that my sexuality was a factor in the decision not to interview me. But I don’t have any evidence to the contrary either.

I never got to be a Probation Officer and pursued a career path around HIV/AIDS instead. So it all worked out in the end. But I never want to experience that level of doubt again.